Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"a trip to wal-mart" or "to hell and back"

sunday we were getting ready to go to a birthday party and i mentioned to hubby

"you know, we really should get the kid something...."

so i went to my go to spot for cute gift ideas and came up with this!  super cute for a dinosaur party, right!?  problem was... i needed a hooded sweatshirt... in june... in southern california... during a heat wave.  damn.  hubby says

"well, let's just go over to wal-mart.  they'll have everything you need all in one place."

gasp!

"you know how i feel about that place",  i muttered.

"i know i know.... but it's on the way home.  it'll be fine."

famous last words.

as we pulled into the unholy ground parking lot, the kids immediately started melting down.

"see!  they can sense it!", i hissed.

we dragged them into the store - jack started arguing with EVER-Y-THING i said and chris farley ellie was a hot mess already.  of course.... no hooded sweatshirts.

of.  course.  hubby tried to make it all better

"just pick out some clothes while i distract the kids in the toy section and then we can get out of here"

i'm sorry if you are a wal-mart shopper.  i truly am.  especially if you buy their clothes.  they're cheap.  they're ugly.  and your poor children are going to go up in flames if they are anywhere near a candle or heat source.  ALSO.  they make their labels so that you either see the price ($3.87) or the dreaded store name. and you can't take it off or else you look like you raided your closet for presents.  and you can't leave them on because everyone will know you shopped at whiskey tangoville wal-mart!  gah!!!

so i finally just grabbed some cheap-ass-zero-quality clothes and sprinted to the front of the store.  we purchased our crap gift and as we're leaving realize that the boy should probably make a pit stop.

cue the screaming demon.

"i don't want to go pee-pee!!  i hate pee-pee!  it's not my favorite!  i. don't. want. to. go. pee. pee!!"

allllllllll the way into the restroom, into the stall, onto the potty.  as i'm holding him down on the potty he suddenly looks at me and says

"fine.  i go pee pee all by myself."

i grabbed that kid, yanked up his shorts, and made a mad dash for the front door.  we got to the car and he fell asleep almost instantly.

the power of christ compels you! ohthankgoditsover.

by the way.  i made a beeline for target once the kids were home with the mister and bought a super cute little outfit.  returned those damned clothes the next day.

mark my words....  never.  again.

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