mo cookies

jack and i had an oreo cookie party on the kitchen floor the other day.  we shared.  he ate the creamy middle.  i got the soggy wafers.  mmmmmm.....  jealous?

this is him screaming "mo cookies!" at me.  also... this may or may not have been his dinner that night.  don't judge.

i'm alive.... i think

just a quick post-ita to assure ALL of my readers (i'm so popular, you know) that i am still alive and kicking, though just barely.  you may have noticed that the small people from your neighborhood disappeared.  don't worry.  school started.  i'm watching them.  actually, i'm supposed to be teaching them but in the crazy chaos that is the first week or so it's more like i'm wrangling them.  so, i promise to try and blog soon.... back to school night is this week and i'm hoping that maybe things will settle down a bit after that????  and i won't feel as though i've come down with mono or some other horrible kissing disease that mimics the exhaustion of "first week of school".

coming soon:  i'm a big girl now.  my superboy turns three.

to the crazy b's i saw today

you: were having a gnarly cat fight in your apt. parking lot.  i only noticed because my windows were down and i was able to hear the profanities you were hurling at each other along with your fists.  yes.  you were punching each other.

then.  i saw that one of you brought your child along for the show.  your poor little boy was watching you behave like even less of a lady than you already claim to be.

i:  drove around the corner and was so upset that i doubled back while dialing the esco. p.d.  ya that's right. i did it.

but.  when i got back to your complex the two of you were gone and your kid was too.  i can only hope that both of you dropped dead and your son was rescued by a kind soul.  i wasn't going to go on a door to door hunt for you worthless sacks so i hung up.

be warned.  if i ever come across you again, i will not only call the police but - if my children are not in the car with me and yours are safely hidden away somewhere - i will run you over with my car and save this city from your pathetic childish antics.

get some class.

they call her the stink

not once.  not twice. but three times (a lady?) this week, our delicate flower has produced something in her drawers that can only be compared to armageddon.  the worst attack (in my opinion) took place in a restaurant while we were out to eat with cowboy baba.

hmmmm.... she seems fussy grampa, i'll just take her out to the - ohmygawd!!! why is my hand slimey?!?  what's happening?!?!  ohmygawd!!!

and this child does not do anything half-ass (no pun intended).  i left her home with the hubby and jack for a couple hours the other night and i received this text:

worst fears realized.  BLOWOUT.

poor hubby.  poor baby girl.  anyway, i leave you with a picture that i snapped of the stink this week after one of her "incidents".  ya.  they're that bad.  maybe it's a phase....???

flashback friday

i was lurking my own blog the other day because people do that, right?  shutupitstotallynormalokay???  anyway, i found this post from back in the day - like november '08 style.  you have to read it because i am flippin' hilarious sometimes but the kids in my class top me most of the time.  check it out:  is that a banana in your pocket?

adventures in potty training - damnyoupeepee.

right now as i write this post one handed there may or may not be:

pee on the floor

dirty bottles on the table

a wet diaper next to me on the couch

a three year old in time-out

an 8 week old passed out in my arms

oh, the glamorous life i lead....

it all starts innocently enough...  so we're attempting to potty train the boy which is absolutely an adventure.  i can't tell you how often i'll turn around and see him watching pee evacuate from his little body all over the floor MINUTES after i've watched him pee in the potty.  today was especially exciting when i dragged him in the bathroom to "try" and realized his big boy undies were already wet.

"where's the pee pee, jack?"

blank stare.

so i start searching the house for evidence and quickly come across a gigantic puddle next to the train table.

"ta-da!"

are you serious, little boy?  he's so happy for me that i've found the "prize" in this f*&#@$ up treasure hunt.  so i put a smile on my face and grab the lysol.

"next time he pee pee goes in the potty, right baby?"

right?! through gritted teeth....

journaling mommy

so i stole this idea from someone else...  pretty sure it was coach (holla, carisa!).  aaaaaaaand i'm not sure if i'm doing it the same way as her but here's what it entails.  i went and bought two fancy looking journals here - one for each little mitch.  then the plan is to write journal entries about each child - to each child - in their personal journal.  and THEN the final product would be to one day (when they want it) give them their journal(s) so they have a record of them growing up.  cool?  ya, i know.  =) anyway, i bought the journals last week sometime and i'm JUST getting to the stink's.  i finally wrote her first entry yesterday and now i need to get on jack's so he doesn't get all jealous and stuff.

dr. stasche and the river rat... or the day ellie was born

**just a warning... this is a loooong post so if you don't have a couple ten fifteen minutes to spare.... come back soon.

it all started around 6am on may 11, 2011. i was told to call up palomar labor and delivery and "see if they have room". so i did and got a hold of a very nasty type nurse

"hi! i'm supposed to call and see what time to come in for an induction?"

note my tone of hope...

"psh! ugh... call back at 11 and we'll see if we even have room for you."

note the tone of nasty...

so i hung up and stewed in my rage for a bit and then remembered that nurses work 12 hour shifts usually ending around 7... so... i called back at 8am, hoping for a nice nurse this time.

"hi. my doctor wants me to be induced today. what time should i come in?"

i used my big girl voice this time... learned it from my sister...

"oh! what was your name? spelts? can you come in right now??"

booyah! that's right, palomar! so i jumped out of bed and screamed at matt to get a move on! we're having a baby today!! i ran to the shower and shaved my legs (gotta have smooth legs for a delivery), scarfed down some fruity loopies (breakfast of champions), and hopped in the car - ready to go.

we arrived at the hospital at 8:45am and waited to check-in. did i warn you that this might be a long post yet??? you have been warned.

at the check-in counter there was a young girl (no more than 23??) who was very pregnant and seemed to be practicing her lamaze breathing....

"hee hee hooooo... hee hee hoooo... is this your first?"

"uh no... i have a two and a half year old named jack. is this your first??"

i worried she was gonna have her baby in front of me.

"oh no... it's my third."

gong! my jaw hit the floor. pick it up sam. i managed an...

"oh my..."

"ya... i had my first son and then got pregnant again 6 weeks after he was born... GONG! oh here's your jaw... and then i got pregnant with this one 9 months after the second. my mom says i'm just fertile!"

i couldn't help myself..

"oh girl...."

i did however refrain from telling her what I would say she was... we finally bid our new "fertile" friend goodbye and checked into our room at 9am. our nurse started filling out paperwork for us

"did you want an epidural today? did you want your tubes tied after delivery?"

"yes to the epidural and no to the tubes but now that you mention it, i just met a girl in the hall who i think may need that service..."

so around 11am our doctor cruised in to meet us. yes. we waited two hours to see a doctor. but he was a sight. have any of you ever played angry birds? then you may be familiar with our attending physician, "dr. stasche". i managed to snap a quick photo of him...

theeeeeeeere we go... anyway, he checked me and told me he would start me on pitocin right away and we would see how that goes... flash forward 13 hours of a few contractions and then nothing... bump up the pitocin... a few contractions and then nothing... bump up the pitocin. meanwhile, my super nice crunchy granola nurse leaves for the night and we met our night nurse, a very nice filipino lady named cheryl who looked like she would take very good care of us. midnight rolls around and everything changed. a woman walked into my room.

she looked like she spent every weekend baking in her beach chair next to "the river" wearing her rolled up, unbuttoned bongo jean shorts and a neon green bikini top, with a coors in one hand and her pack of ciggies in the other. she alternates trips to the river with trips to the desert and trips to her garage to bleach the $%#* out of her hair, i'm sure.

"where's cheryl??"

note the terror in my voice...

"oh she had to go work in the nursery. why?"

ummm... because you're not her and frankly, you scare me. instead i mumbled...

"just wondering..."

"well, i'm the river rat, i'll be your new nurse. i think you'll like me."

oh i doubt it.

enter dr. stasche to break my water. he tells me to hold out for my epidural until i'm "uncomfortable" and directs the river rat to call him "when the baby is crowning". wonderful. did i mention matt had been playing angry birds this whole time? like 13 hours worth? we started calling him "slayer"....

so now it's 3am and i'm "uncomfortable". my pitocin is turned up to 15 (max is 20). carisa (holla!) is standing at the end of my bed breathing with me - i wouldn't let her hold my hand or touch me... i started getting cranky. i've told the river rat that i would like my epidural and she returns a couple minutes later...

"okay, i told them you want an epidural but the anesthesiologist is doing a c-section and there's another woman ahead of you who's screaming so you're third in line..."

oooookay. so an hour and a half goes by and matt wakes up (yes, wakes up) because someone let a sailor loose in our room... or i was a little more than "uncomfortable" and a little more than "cranky". i'd been waiting an hour and a half for my epidural, okay? matt stumbled sleepily over to the bed...

"hey, did you get your epidural?"

"GET OUT OF HERE AND FIND MY EPIDURAL!!! DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT IT!!"

roared the sailor. matt looked scared. just then, the river rat walked in with dr. gorilla the anesthesiologist (not his real name but i can't remember the real one).

"oh thank god! gimme the epidural! put it in my back! i really need to push i think!!!"

dr. gorilla turns to the river rat and says...

"did she fill out the paperwork for the epidural?"

"oh you're KIDDING me!! no! just put it in my back! i NEED TO PUSH!!"

"you're probably not as far along as you think, sweetie.... just let me find that paper..... we can check you once you're epidural is in..."

ohmahgawd. at this point i had not been "checked" since midnight. i was at the same time thinking i was going to pass out and puke on myself. i think i screamed at the river rat that i was "sitting on my baby" and they were having a hard time getting my epidural in. finally they got the line for the epidural in and dr. gorilla stepped away to "get the medicine" so the river rat said she would check me...

"oh! (beep beep boop boop) dr. stasche?! you need to come to room 252 right now... i think you might miss the birth of this baby. okay honey you just need to push right now."

for real? for REAL?!?! seriously. so i pushed that baby out! dr. stasche arrived just in time to catch ellie and dr. gorilla got the tester tube of medicine in... while they cleaned her off. perfect...

in the end it was a crazy day but our lady came like gangbusters at 4:57am on may 12, 2011 and she was totally worth it.

ellie t. spelts

entered the world with a ruckus (get the full story later) on may 12th, 2011 at 4:57 am. our little lady weighed in at 8 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 inches. love this girl!

i superman

***the views and opinions expressed in this post regarding superman are in no way a unanimous household view. ***

the other morning i was having breakfast with jack and he looked at me very seriously

"mommy, i wanna fly"

"okay baby. but you don't have wings. how are you going to fly?"

he didn't even have to think about it long. he pointed straight to the picture of supe

rgrover on his bowl and said

"i need a cape. "

"okay baby. we can get you a cape today."

"and a helmet."

i love that he added that on. it's as if to forewarn me of the er trips we will make when he leaps off the roof of some tall structure.

so we went over to jo-ann's with carisa and the buddies (holla!), bought some cape making materials, and got to it. all night that little boy would come over to me while i was on the sewing machine, point to the cape i was working on and say

"my superman?"

now here's the problem. apparently there are two camps in the mitch household. pro superman and anti superman. i am all for the guy. c'mon, right? he's a man who is super. he can leap tall buildings.... blah blah blah... i like him and clark kent. matt however, is anti superman. he can explain it to you sometime. i don't don't why. jack - it turns out - thinks anyone with a cape is superman. so... there you go. but nonetheless it really irks matt that jack is referring to superman in our house. psh.

so long story short, the cape was made. the boy was ecstatic the next morning when he got to wear it the first time

"i fly!! i superman!!! fsh, fsh, fsh!!!"

(those are "flying" sounds in case you haven't heard)

and i made one for the lady too so she's not jealous when she comes out.

big boy bed update

we've been at it for a while now and (knock on wood), i think we may have made a break through. after several different door handles/lock situations, and tearful nights (not just jack) we "might" have a routine going that works for bedtime.

it starts with reading 4 books in a very specific order on the couch. then, we move to the big boy room for 3 kisses, 2 blankies, and 1 little prayer. finally, we turn on the special woody nightlight (thanks auntie mophie!) and the music, i discreetly lock the door and say goodnight.

now this works most nights - thank God!! i unlock the door when we go to bed and we usually see jack around 4am in our room. but it's progress, right??? he is very polite at 4am though. he walks in, throws his blankie on top of me and then taps me (but never says anything) to pick him up and put him in bed with us. then he usually gives one or both of us one of his super intense kisses before going right back to sleep!

so hopefully this keeps up for a while! then we can try and tackle potty training! =(

battle of the big boy bed

i'm so exhausted i can't even tell you... jack is on week two of sleeping in a big boy bed. every night it's the same thing: we read a couple books on the bed, turn on the sleep music and turn off the lights... and then the battle begins. i usually lay down with him to "help him" go to sleep but that doesn't last long because he starts kicking, hitting, yelling "no", even biting me. boo. =( so i end up getting up and walking out of the room but eventually get back in bed with him and lay with him until he falls asleep. this entire process usually lasts about two and a half hours. as i mentioned before.... i'm tired.

so last night we tried something new. i saw it on "supernanny" once. put him in bed. say goodnight. walk out and shut the door. that worked for about one minute. then the door opens and he runs out giggling like a crazy leprechaun. now "supernanny" says the first time they come out you tell them it's time for bed and then each time after that you just walk them back to bed without saying anything and they will eventually tire and go to sleep.

well, after about time - oh i dunno - 30, i turned to the sound of the door opening to yell "go to bed!" at the boy and saw a pair of mickey mouse ears peeking out at me. that little ham had found his mickey hat and figured "mom can't deny the cuteness of me in mouse ears" and then tried coming out of his room. it was ridiculous cute. so i ended up laying down with him again and he fell asleep finally.

so. tonight. we decided to stay strong and do the "supernanny". we started the walk him back to his room at 8:30pm. by 9pm i was over it. so i stayed on one side of the door holding the knob so jack couldn't open the door. he started crying the saddest cry ever but then he started trying to "trick me" into opening the door with every excuse in the book: "mommy! jack wants water!" "mommy! the door's locked!" then he walked over to his bed (i heard him) and sobbed into his pillow "mommy! jack's crying!" really, little boy? oh man, he kills me.

so now it's 9:24pm. jack is still yelling at me from in the room with an occasional crying jag, BUT... he's on his bed. he hasn't come back out yet. i don't know if he thinks the door is locked (it's not) or if he's just so tired that he doesn't want to get up. i don't want to jinx it but i think he may fall asleep eventually in there... we'll see.

sneak peek

yesterday we had a ladie's trip down to san diego for one of those fancy shmancy 4d ultrasounds to see ellie t. we had a great time and went to brunch at mimi's afterwards. it was a little weird to see her moving around and being her sassy little self in there. she was getting frustrated that we kept trying to make her move so she would cover up her face and give us the grumpy face and eventually got so fed up that she turned her back on us completely so we couldn't see her face at all!

as far as i know we're still on track for an eta of may 11. we have a doctor's appointment on tues. so we'll see what they say about her. at the ultrasound the technician commented on how chubby ellie was already at 31 weeks so we might have another chunky baby on our hands!

so here is a sneak peek at our baby girl!

transformation central

so... fast forward 24 weeks or so and we're back! things are in full swing at the mitches house. fyi - we're having a baby.... and it's a girl! some of us were a little more excited than others about this.... the nurses and i had huge smiles on our faces while matt looked something like this. buuuuut i think the idea of a little lady running aroundthe house is growing on him. especially since his special lady (aka me) isn't so little anymore. at almost 30 weeks pregnant i am well on my way to the glorious beached whale that i am known to become in the third trimester. i'm working on it okay? gah - get off my back, huh? i'm also starting to feel this crazy urge to make my house look nice... i believe this strange phenomenon is commonly referred to as "nesting". now don't get me wrong. this in no way implies that i want to clean things. i want to buy things and decorate/remodel and pay someone else to clean my house vigorously. the plan now is as follows:

install pergo flooring for the living room/jack's play area (yay!)

paint and decorate the hall bathroom

paint the "pretty princess room" blue, buy a big boy be

d, move jack in, and rename it the "big boy room"

paint jack's room, decorate it, and rename it

"ellie's room"

somewhere in here there is also the plan to finish the front and back yard... (papa, are you listening???)

whew! not too hard, right? i already started the remodel of the pretty princess room by tearing down all that lovely wallpaper border. you know. the one with little dresses on it. soooooo classy. or weird...

before shots of the "pretty princess room" as it transforms into "jack's big boy room"