'twas the middle of december
and in our small house,
we had just escaped
the wrath of a louse.
in room 25
the first grade - that is,
lice had invaded
all of the kids.
so back at our home
in our jim-jammy-roos,
matt, sam, and jack
were ready to snooze.
when all of a sudden
i heard a "scritch-scratch"
i leapt from the bed
and lit up a match.
"i'll burn the place down!"
the words flew from my mouth
but the look on matt's face
told me things had gone south
"critters!" i cried
"the small furry kind"
"the ones with the tail
coming from their behind"
"bologna" said matt
"and i don't mean for dinner"
"if we're telling whoppers
you're surely the winner"
meanwhile, the scoob,
with a smile on his face
quickly whipped up something
that stunk up the place.
"they're coming for jack!
they'll get him - i know it
where's lady and the tramp?
do you need me to show it?"
"you've worked yourself up
into quite a tizzy -
do you really base all of your facts
on walt disney?"
"so" matt continued
"what should i do?
tear down the walls
and give them the shoe?"
"yes!" i replied
and that turned his head
"maybe we'll just
call the landlords" he said
"well, while you're at it
perhaps be so bold
to inform them of
our problem with mold"
"it's under the sink
coming from the baseboards
and in our bathroom
it's working towards
becoming a problem
and we do not need
to have that - so
hear my words and take heed.
tell them to fix it
and please make it quick
i don't want my house
a mess for st. nick"
so we gave them a call
and the verdict came in
"we'll gut the whole kitchen -
when can we begin?"
so the moral, my friends
is really quite clear:
don't rent-
buy your own house
this upcoming year.
