dog training

we finally did it. we admitted to ourselves that we had a problem. hi. we're the mitches, and we have dog problems. actually, it turns out that WE have problems but who didn't know that already, right? more on this later. so little dog decided to break that darn camel's back the night before the superbowl by eating - oh, i dunno - HALF A BAG of hershey's kisses! wha!?! yep. i spent a good part of the game playing "find the chihuahua upchuck". he actually made it quite easy what with all the foil that was imbedded in it... mmmmm.... chocolate chihuahua puke.... so, he got the bootscoot from the big bed. he now enjoys a glorious view of the back of our garage door in his BRAND NEW DOG KENNEL!!!! (thanks for the loaner, sumners!) this does not stop him from yelling at us from the garage at 3am. good times.

on to big dog. who we brought to puppy training at petsmart (plug!) last night. right off the bat we were singled out as having the "overly energetic" dog of the group (read: ADHD). i really thought that tony (our trainer/teacher) was going to kick us out as our big dog rolled all over us and the room. but we were allowed to stay. then tony says:

so how often are you walking big dog?

gulp.

a couple times a week...

lies. i sit upon a throne of them.

oh, no! that won't do. your dog needs to be walked twice a day at the very least.

okay... how long should these walks last?

hmmm.... for your dog? about 2 miles.

i KID YOU NOT, my friends. 2 miles??!! no. so we've completed day 1 of dog walk 2010. mitch takes the am shift and i bring up the rear with the pm shift. 1 down, 364 to go. so, it turns out that actually we are bad dog parents because we don't give big dog enough exercise or something. but i honestly don't know about the little one. he's spiteful. and that's coming from someone who knows about spite.... but more on that later. another post, another day.

funny people, a.k.a.me

i'm not gonna lie.... i'm freakin' hilarious. i crack myself up ALL the time. anyway, i was feeling a little nostalgic today and decided to read a couple posts from the "old" blog. weird that it still exists.... we just don't visit anymore. =( so! i thought i would share one of the old posts because i'm so funny you need to read it too. so this one is from august 29, 2008 so scoob was just over 1 week old (oh! the scoobiest of scoobs was soooo little then!) okay, here we go:

i can't explain to you my hatred of ants. it's obscene. i absolutely loath ants. this is my story:

last night i'm sitting on the couch with the little guy when an (1) ant crawls across my arm. i murdered it immediately before it could tell its friends where we were. i told matt:

"i hate ants. i feel like they are all over me now."

"don't exaggerate, sam. you just feel dirty because you didn't get a shower today." (it's true).

flash forward roughly six hours. i'm in the kitchen with the boy and it's about 5am. we are just coming off of a marathon fuss and we are both exhausted. i'm trying to fix his medicine up (you suck, thrush) when i feel those god awful little feet marching up my arm (no, not jack's). i quickly turn on the lights and am met with a horrific sight: ants. everywhere. all over the counter. i run and put the boy down in the living room (he's crying because it's 5am - crying time) and then i run back into the kitchen. it's obvious that someone found out about my crime from earlier and has rallied the troops to exact their revenge. i take out my weapon, windex, and the battle begins. i find that they have broken in through a light switch plate (??? really??). the slaughter rages on for 2 maybe 3 minutes before i see an end. i return to my young son and we cry it out for another hour before we fall asleep for the "night". hear my words, ants:

you are not welcome in my house.